It might sound silly, but choosing an adoption agency was one of the hardest steps in the adoption process for us. Mainly because we had no clue going into the process that our options were practically limitless.
When we first started exploring adoption, we literally did a Google search for adoption agencies in our city and some may search for a LGBT adoption agency. We thought it was that simple. And for some, it could be. But we quickly learned that our nearest agency wasn’t going to work for us.
We later decided, when realizing how many different routes we could take with our adoption, that we wanted the help of a consultant. Since it was our first adoption and we had little to no exposure to the process, we knew we needed some guidance in navigating the process.
Tips for Choosing the Right Agency For YOU
After you’ve determined if you’d like to work with a local or national agency, here are some tips for basing your search criteria.
1. Ethical Practices
This one is huge! When it comes to adoption, you definitely don’t want to work with any agency who isn’t using best practices, let alone aren’t aware of and following the adoption laws of each state. It’s unfortunate, but there are scammers that prey on vulnerable adoptive families and loopholes that may make the adoption route easier, but are illegal. You, first and foremost, have to know how to protect yourself.
You want to ensure that an agency is respecting the rights of all parties – you, the birth family, and the child. No information should be kept a secret from either party, the birth mother should never feel coerced, and you should be informed and educated throughout the entire process as well.
2. Expectant Mother Care
How they treat their expectant mothers is one of the best ways to determine if an agency is ethical. These women should be an agency’s priority. They should offer her counseling immediately, throughout the remainder of her pregnancy, and especially after birth. They should provide her with a variety of resources, such as helping her to get her essential needs met (housing, medical insurance, food), ensuring she is able to get prenatal care, and assisting her with anything else pregnancy related.
3. Show Me the Money
Nobody likes to bring up money right away but it’s super important that you fully understand an agency’s fees and costs. You don’t want to sign any contract to sign up with an agency without a clear and upfront explanation of what to expect in terms of payment.
You may not receive a detailed, line-by-line cost breakdown right away, as each adoption situation can vary, but you need a general idea or estimate. You want to make sure that before you get your heart set on an agency that it fits in your budget or that you have a plan for how you’ll afford the adoption. It would be absolutely heartbreaking to be presented with an adoption situation, only to find out you can’t afford it. So be prepared and informed well in advance.
4. History and Reviews
It’s good to know how long an agency has been in business. Obviously, the longer, the better. You want to find an agency with a long standing history of success. Not that newer agencies can’t be good too, it’s just more peace of mind.
It will also be easier to find reviews on agencies that have been around awhile and reviews can be one of the best ways to get a feel for an agency. Of course, not all reviews can be trusted and there are always two sides to every story, but they can give you a good overall idea of other families experiences with the agency. Check reviews on Google, on the agency’s Facebook page, and ask around to other adoptive families you know or can connect with in Facebook groups. Often times reviews can really help you weed out the bad ones.
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5. Nonprofit vs. For-Profit Agencies
A nonprofit adoption agency and a for-profit adoption agency will have differences in their mission, ownership, where their support goes, and who they benefit. The quickest way to tell if an agency is a nonprofit is by looking at their website or emailing them to see if they are a designated 501(c)(3) organization. These organizations rely on donations, grants, and their mission is to benefit society. This means it’s owned by the public and not a person or corporation.
6. Make the Call
Once you’ve narrowed your choices of agencies down, you definitely want to call them or schedule a phone appointment with them. This will help you get a much better feel for whether or not an agency will be a good fit for you.
You might find that it’s nearly impossible to get someone on the phone with you, which obviously isn’t a good sign. Or you might find the opposite and be embraced immediately by the agency staff, have plenty of opportunities to ask questions, and be provided additional information and resources after the call. Either way, you’ll get a feeling for what it might be like to work with the agency.
7. Know the Numbers
When vetting an agency, you’ll want to find out how many placements they do on average per year. You’ll likely have to ask this via a phone call or email, as not all agencies share this on their websites.
You’ll also want to know how many families the agency currently has waiting to adopt. These numbers will give you a good idea of how long you should anticipate to wait for a baby. The more placements the better, the less families on their wait list, also the better.
8. Understand Their Processes
Before signing on with an agency, be sure you have clear expectations for how things work. Each agency is different so don’t assume anything.
You should understand how and when they match an expectant mother with the adoptive family (hint: later is better to reduce the fall-through risk and give the expectant mother time to process the pregnancy and the adoption plan).
9. Make Sure YOU are a Good Fit for Them
It’s easy to forget that choosing an agency is not one-sided. It’s equally important to ensure that you will make a good client for an agency. Make sure that the agency you choose will work in your state (if you’re looking at agencies in different states) and that they don’t have specific marriage or religious requirements. Some agencies will not work with same-sex couples, will have a requirement for how long you and your spouse have been married, or will even require that their clients be of a certain religion.
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